Openness
Spring is starting to show its beautiful side. Hopefully you are enjoying this weather.
I have started to notice the importance of staying open minded when working with and around horses.
One of the essential skills when being with horses is seeing the horse’s point of view.
What may happen is that we close that “openness”- it stops us from feeling and seeing the other’s view, thoughts and feelings. It stops us from interacting and being “we”.
I think of it like a door, when it is closed we just hear our own views, thoughts and feelings, all we see is “I”.
But when the door is open we can see both sides, there is connection and that sense of “we”.
That door can close for many reasons and I believe that we often approach things with that openness, seeking that sense of “we” e.g. have a partnership with a horse, where we become one, and it isn’t just “me” and “ him.
It may seem like the door has suddenly slammed shut because you are pushed too far, where it isn’t comfortable or easy to deal with the emotions, feelings and thoughts that arise.
But there are actually many signs that show us that we are starting to slowly close that door and losing that sense of “we”.
It is about becoming aware of those little signs and feelings, listening to what they are trying to tell us.
It may be some physical tension or thoughts and feelings that slowly stop us from seeing the other’s point of view. They are just telling us that there is something we need to take care of within ourselves to keep that sense of “we”.
That happens because we want to protect and keep ourselves safe. Because it isn’t always easy to stay open, be aware of our own views, thoughts and feelings and deal with them. It can require a lot to stay connected with our own awareness and sensory feelings and to stay connected with the other.
Becoming aware of this will allow us to take the steps we need to take ,to keep that door open before it closes.
When the door is completely closed and it is difficult to open that door again, it may be helpful to imagine a similar situation you have been in yourself.
How did that feel like?
How did you respond?
What would like done differently?
This can help to re-establish the connection, knowing what it feels like e.g. “we” have both been there.
Often we may not understand why the horse is “acting” a certain way, not doing what we are asking them to do.
We can either close the door.
Or we could stay open and ask ourselves:
How may the horse feel like?
What may be the cause?
What could I do differently?
Like that we stay connected and maintain that sense of “ we”.
